why can't I just relax?
it's 4 am, exams are near and it's stress is killing me. I can't sleep and tomorrow I have a small oral exam of sorts. I've always been an anxious person and it really shows up at times like this. I only have one more big exam to give and whole year is complete but all I can do is just not even start studying? it's like I go deer in headlights mode acknowledging the threat but just staring directly at it. I can't move. I feel bad that I don't do anything about it yet I continue to do nothing about it. the problem just gets bigger and bigger and all I can do is feel the stress and nothing else. I don't think this is good for me. can't do much about it though. I always find something new to stress about. like the book I borrowed from my friend months ago and didn't finish reading. (hey if you are reading this I'm deeply sorry, I'll finish it this week I promise)
this whole thing is a wordvomit. well it's now out of my brain so it's rest of the worlds problem.